YESTERDAY I woke up in a small cabin in the far northwoods of Minnesota. It was the last morning of my three-day stay of what has become an annual tradition. Each fall, we load up gear and food and make our way across the river and through the woods to the hunting camp. This year was a good one. No trophy bucks for the wall, but good times were had by all. My dad and I bonded over buck grunts and doe urine (don’t ask), and talks of life and work. My mom greeted us back at the cabin each night with home-cooked meals that were really truly fit for kings and queens. I introduced hubz to one of my all-time favorite movies, Never Cry Wolf and to the joys of 170 degree saunas and streaking under a starry night sky.

TODAY I am home. Waking up in my own bed was delightful. Showering felt akin to nirvana. I love trips, especially to the woods, but I love home more. Also today, at spin class, the instructor played the “song”, “Everybody’s Free (to Wear Sunscreen)” by Baz Luhrmann. I had never heard it, so maybe I’m living in a hole? At any rate, if you’ve never had the pleasure, do partake. It’s pure genius, seasoned with a little good humor and a dash of fun. Lyrics are here.

TOMORROW is a new day. One in which I will, Lord willing, rise and run through my routine. Wake, eat, read, pray, spin, shower, dress, drive, email, talk, meet, plan, eat, email, meet, plan, talk, meet, eat, drive, read, brush, floss, undress, sleep. Routines are wonderful. Horrible and wonderful, all at once. All of this to say, I have some decisions to make soon, and in the midst of the routine that is now the consistency of my life, I question if it’s the right way, and which direction I should go. Last night I read this verse and I came to it again this morning. “Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust. Make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.” Ps 143:8. That is my two-fold prayer…that I would know the steadfast love of the Lord, and that he would make me know the way I should go.

ON SHOES

I have a theory about shoes. Here it is: shoes are easy to love, because unlike skinny jeans, chocolate or boys, they always love you back. There are no body issues associated with shoes. Fat day or skinny day, great shoes always make you feel great. Shoes are as delicious as chocolate, but much healthier. Why do girls love shoes? This is why.

on books

Here is what I’ve been reading lately:

• The Screwtape Letters, C. S. Lewis
• Living the Cross-Centered Life, C. J. Mahaney
• The Girl She Used to Be, David Cristofano
• Glorious Ruin, Tullian Tchividjian
• The Expulsive Power of a New Affection, Thomas Chalmers
• The Meaning of Marriage, Timothy Keller
• Repentance, C. John Miller

I’m blogging off the top of my head today. Ponderings and items of note below:

1) Have I ever mentioned how much I love the movie, You’ve Got Mail? I love it. LOVE. And I’m going to watch it tonight, snuggled on my couch with the fireplace going, a cup of tea (better yet – wine!), and my husband by my side. Today I quoted him the infamous Joe Fox, “Don’t you just love New York in the fall? It makes me want to buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of freshly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address.” He stared at me blankly for a few seconds. The rest of the conversation went something like this…

Z: What are you saying? What does that mean?
B: It’s a quote from the movie. It evokes a mood. I LOVE IT.
Z: Freshly sharpened pencils?!?!
B: Yes!!! The smell, the texture, the feel. It’s perfectly autumnal. Delicious!
Z: If someone sent me a bunch of pencils, I’d think they were crazy.

Thereby proving that poetic language does not reach the heart and soul of all mankind.
 

2) I did not make it to the orchard this year, which is most regrettable. Time was just not on my side. Or perhaps it was more closely related to the fact that I had no zeal to go. Because usually, I have ZEAL to go. Apple picking in the fall is akin to fireworks on the forth of July, bare feet on hot August days, and wintery walks down Nicollet Mall around Christmastime. It’s a signpost of the change of seasons for me. But this year, I just…didn’t feel like going. The most I could muster was a drive out to the orchard to pick a couple pumpkins for our porch. It was a hasty trip, but I’m glad we went. The pumpkins are now adorning my front steps, and making the place feel very homey.

When I was a junior in college, I used to say, “All I really want is a pumpkin on the porch.” Behind that odd statement was this longing for the comfort of a home and a husband and a family and banana bread baking and sunshine in the window and…a pumpkin on the porch. Like most young adults, I had very romantic visions of what life should look like. The reality is a bit more, well, like reality. It turns out that I’m not Betty Crocker OR Martha Stewart or even John & Sherry Petersik, and no matter how lovely life looks from the outside, satisfaction can’t be found in a gourd on the front stoop or loaf of fresh baked bread in the oven. In the best way possible, I’ve been disillusioned. More I could say, but I’m in a rambling mood, so instead I’ll stop here and continue with the list.
 

3) Last week, I got off Facebook. Earth-shattering, right!? It’s a wonder that my world is stil turning. In all seriousness, I deactivated my account, just to take a break from all the noise. Not that I’ll never go back, but for now, I’m actually enjoying the quiet. I’ve been reading more books and getting less hung up on the frivolous details of people’s lives. Previous to last week, I found myself checking in waaay too frequently. At stoplights, while going to the bathroom (Don’t judge! You do it too!!), while standing in line for a cashier–really, any spare, empty seconds seemed to be well-spent scrolling my newsfeed. Now I only have text messages, emails, Instagram and Twitter to distract me. So much more simple and uncomplicated!

4) I am still doing weekend brunches with my besties, and it’s been such a joy. I’d highly recommend finding a couple girlfriends and doing a regular Saturday brunch. We feel very Hollywood meets Midwest on our brunchy adventures, but the BEST part is by far the conversation. Or is it the breakfast food? Anyway, it’s all good, and you should try it.

5) I have many books and quotes and music and other things to share. Now that Facebook is out of my life, there is this pile of BLAH BLAH BLAH that I just need to get out. And since I have a blog, I have a feeling it will come out here. Perhaps in short, frequent spurts, or maybe in big, rambling brain dumps. So yes. Stay tuned.

Hello, friends! It’s been awhile. I’m officially OFF summer vacation and loving the return to a routine. YES, vacation was awesome. But it also has a way of warping your senses. Days blur together. Foods you’d never normally eat begin to look “healthy” and “wholesome”. The concept of an alarm clock becomes foreign. “Six more hours in the car” sounds like “we’ll be there real soon”. The jungle in your front yard seems perfectly acceptable (“at least our lawn is green, honey!”). Reality just generally goes out the window. So, yes. It’s great to be back!

I’ve got so, SO, SOOOOOO much to share! During my month away, I traveled to Chicago for a mother-daughter trip, Wisconsin for a family reunion, Florida for an anniversary trip, and northern Minnesota for a friends and family getaway. There was a LOT of driving. Also beaches, sunshine, good eats, relaxation and a general state of summer bliss. I’ve got photos galore, links, music and more, so stick around. Be back real soon!

It’s here, in all its sparse, uncluttered, black and white beauty. Welcome to the new B*SPOKE. I’ve been longing for a space like this for some time, and I’m so happy to finally have it. My goal for the new site was simple: I wanted to marry the blog and the studio, and create a clean space for my work to dwell online. Poke around a bit, and you’ll find a gallery of my identity and interactive work, along with a brief history of B*SPOKE Studio. Look around the blog and you’ll discover that all the old content and pages are still here, just organized in a more simple manner. The look and feel may be different, but you can still count on the same content: posts on my designs, style, home, foodie adventures, travels, music and faith.

I’m in the process of settling in and making sure things function and fit. If you happen to discover any bugs or broken links, please email me (hello(at)bspokestudio.com). I would be most grateful!

And now, I’m off to tie up loose ends, wrap up projects, do laundry, clean the house, pack and set off on the first of many adventures during my month away. I’ll miss you guys! Be back in August.